If the shoe fits... buy one in every color!
Sorry, I'm not fluent in Moron, please speak slowly to me.
When french people swear, do they say pardon my english?
Yes, you have the right to your opinion and I have the right to think
I DO know it all, I just can't remember it all at once.
We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.
I don't miss him, I miss who I thought he was.
One day I'll fly away and leave all this to yesterday.
Life is too short to sit on the sidelines and not dance.
I'm not random, I just have many thoughts.
I am the future of america. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
The worst thing a guy can do is to make a girl fall for him with no intention
of catching her.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice!
Yes, I am insane, but every now and then, I have these horrible
periods of boredom where I have to act normal like you.
Aren't you glade i don't write everything that comes into my head?
Tonight, the headphones will deliver you these words i can not say.
Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop.
If words could kill, it'd spell your name.
I'm multi-talented; I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
I wanna be like those girls in the movies to have a man so in love it makes
him drop to his knees.
Obstacles are put in your way to see if what you want is worth fighting for.
Friends may come and go, but peanut butter is forever.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. sit
with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. That's relativity. -- Albert Einstien
Pictures never change... only the people in them do.
The Daily show: because sometimes, ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox News, MSNBC, CSPAN,
Headline news, CNN, and Cspan 2 just aren't enough.
CD player: b/c some of us can't afford iPods.
I can see your point but i still think you're full of it.
Don't worry about falling in love, b/c in fairytales, they don't find each
other till the last page.
The truth may hurt
But it's the lies that kill.
I want to be his last call of the night, his first thought in the morning;
five hour conversations, the ones with "no, you hang up first", him to make my heart race, give me seaty palms, hugs that
you never want to let go of, but most of all, I want to be considered his.
My theory is that if you look confident you can pull off anything even if
you have no clue what you're doing.
I would imagin if you understood morse code, a tap dancer would drive you
Your eyes tell you what you dont say.
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance
in the rain.
They ignore each other and look the other way but they both know that it wasn't
supposed to end this way.
He gave her 12 roses; 11 real and one fake, and said, "I'll love you until
the last rose dies."
It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.
Tell me the truth. it's the only thing I haven't heard from you yet.
Always tell the truth. That way, you don't have to remember what you said.
There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics.
Trust, but verify. -Ronald Reagan
No man has a good enough memory to make a successful liar. -Abraham Lincoln
Don't try to butter me up. Insincere butter is rancid from the start.
All truth passes through three stages: First, it is ridiculed Second, it is
violently opposed and Third, it is accepted as self-evident.
Tell the truth and then run. -Proverb
If you don't take risks for love, then what do you take risks for?
Waiting is our destiny. As creatures who cannot by themselves bring about
what they hope for. We wait in the darkness for a flame we cannot light, We wait in fear for a happy ending we cannot write.
We wait for a ‘not yet' that feels like a ‘not ever.' Waiting is the hardest work of hope.
The harder I work, the luckier I get. --Samuel Goldwyn
Every child begins the world again. --Henry David Thoreau
However mean your life is, meet it and live it: do not shun it and call it
hard names. Cultivate poverty like a garden herb, like sage. Do not trouble yourself much to get new things, whether clothes
or friends. Things do not change, we change. Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts. God will see that you do want society.
--Henry David Thoreau
I don't even know what street Canada is on. -- Al Capone
Montreal's not a city. It's a Disney World for alcoholics. -- Mike Wilmot
I want to thank all the Canadians who came out today to wave to me - with
all five fingers! --President George W. Bush (during his first visit to Ottawa Nov. 30, 2004)
Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it.
And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes.
If your parents never had children, chances are you won't, either.
The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of
your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.
A vocabulary is more important than money because it can never be taken away.
Do you ever look at something and realize that it is not real? I do. I look
at something you call reality.
Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer it gets to the end, the faster
A good friend will not come bail you out of jail....But a true friend will
be sitting next to you saying ....WE screwed up!
To ignore the facts does not change the facts.
That the Lord didn't do it all in one day.What makes me think I can?
And even if we can or cant be friends I'll be with you until the very end.
-Shine on, Ryan Cabrera
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow
Those who can laugh without cause have either found the true meaning of happiness
or have gone stark raving mad.
In a mad world only the mad are sane.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their
bright ideas closer together.
It's funny how a song that was once your favorite, is now like a kinfe in your heart.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed
to discover they are not it.
It is good to be without vices, but it is not good to be without temptations.
The only thing worse than a man you can't control is a man you can.
To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake
Autobiography is an unrivaled vehicle for telling the truth about other people.
If you only knew
What I went through just to get to you
And I'll hold on if you want me to
- If you only knew, Maroon 5
I’m not about self-pity. Your love did me wrong, so I’m moving on.
True love? I used to believe it existed, but when you’ve had your heart torn out and thrown on the floor, you
just don’t care anymore.
Someone can walk into your life and it is not until after they walk out that
you realize that they were even there.
Love can tear you apart... it can kill you. But if you’re lucky, it can
put you back together.
It hurts to see you walk away. For admit it or not, you were an important part of my
life and the time we shared will forever be a part of me. So even though I realize that it was never meant to be, still, it
The only boy that deserves to have you, is the one that think he doesn’t.
Unless you can see inside my
heart, there's no way you
he makes me feel.
Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they've
had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon.
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
It's a whole different way of thinking.
verbal contract is not worth the paper it's written on.
is like war, easy to start, hard to end; impossible to forget.
you want to see a comic strip, you should see me in the shower. -Groucho Marx
wanna be the girl he points to and says, "that's her."
horse may be coaxed to drink, but a pencil must be lead.
sticks. For kids who can't afford heroin.
does not determine who is right - only who is left.
you love someone, that person is forever apart of you.
secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~ Lucille Ball
happens. Mostly to me, so don't worry.
isn't my cup of tea.
truth is, you could slit my throat and with my last gasping breath, I’d apologize for bleeding on your shirt.
person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience.
you don't realize how much you care for someone until they stop caring for you.
I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your
way around Chinatown.
know you don't believe that you care this much to me, but I promise you that you do.
Half of the people in the world are below average.
for peace is like fucking for virginity.
Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
will never know why I cry these tears.
On a tombstone: "I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
your absence my heart grows stronger. in your presence I fall in love again.
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people
who can't remember where they leave things.
every girls life there's a guy she will never forget, and the summer when it all beagn.
"When you come to a fork in the road, take it" -Yogi Berra
isn't about finding the perfect person; it's about seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
We are an impossibility in an impossible universe."
for the moment that my dream comes true.
*(Calvin): People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how
hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world. (Hobbes): Isn't your pants' zipper supposed to be in the front?
first love never really dies.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better
idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
going to smile like nothings wrong, talk like everything’s perfect, act like it's all a dream, and pretend it's not
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
eat boogers when nobody's watching.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
my heart, I'll let you break it.
Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
heart is not a play thing, a heart is not a toy, but if you want it broken, give it to a boy.
Is being an idiot like being high all the time?
life gives you lemons, throw them back at the person, and demand for the oranges you asked for!
The world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because
of the people who don't do anything about it.
spaces between your fingers are meant to be filled with mine.
jealous of every girl that has ever hugged you, because for that one moment, they held my entire world.
education, you are not going anywhere in this world.
I wonder if I have a sign on my back that says, break my heart.
love you can't have lasts the longest, feels the strongest, and hurts the most.
love you like a fat kid loves cake.
is like a bar of soap; once you think you got it, it slips away.
you love someone, tell them. Broken hearts are often caused by unspoken words.
what if the one you're ment to be with,
is right under your nose?
Whenever I'm happy, I sit and wait for the piano to fall on my head.
Tulio: you drank the sea water, didn't you?
Miguel: your horse bit me in the butt!
Tulio: who ordered the...uh.. pickles?
A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words
become superfluous. -Ingrid Bergman
the goal of a bitch: to dominate, control and distroy a mans finances,
mental health, self esteem and any hope of happiness!
Hugs and kisses are ways to express what cannot be said.
The stars awaken a certain reverence,
Because though always thought
They are inaccessible; However,
all natural objects make a kindred impression,
When the mind is open
to their influence.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tell me what you feel. thoes words unspoken are killing me.
Mistletoe can be deadly if you eat it. But, a kiss can be even more deadly.
Yeah, I like being a Jerk. No hard work and no heavy lifting.
If you filled all the world's maracas with Skittles, no one would ever notice.
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.
A good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the
guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. "Hear that?" you say. "That's dynamite, baby."
You are only young once… but you can stay immature indefinetely.
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will
really throw you into a panic.
I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under
the ruthless domination of our solar system.
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look
like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
You can close your eyes to things you don't want to see but unfortunetely you can't
close your heart to things you don't want to feel.
When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather did.
Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car.
You fall in love once, you fall in love twice… the last time you learn that
boys aren’t nice.
You know your in love when the hardest thing to say is Goodbye.
If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and
to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.
Your envy creates my energy… ever wonder why I'm so hyper?
A guy and a girl can be just friends
but at one point or another
one of them
will fall for the other,
maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time,
maybe too late or maybe, just maybe ...forever.
There is only one good, knowledge, and one evil, ignorance.
The more you find out about the world, the more opportunities there are to laugh
You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane.
Was it the end before it even started? I
always wanted to be somebody. If I made it, it's half because I was game enough to take a lot of punishment along the way
and half because there were a lot of people who cared enough to help me.
Dreams that do come true can be as unsettling as those that don't.
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things.
Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and
have no self.
Beneath the rule of men entirely great, the pen is mightier than the sword.
The skill of writing is to create a context in which other people can think.
The way you define yourself as a writer is that you write every time you have a free
minute. If you didn't behave that way you would never do anything.
The only reason for being a professional writer is that you can't help it.
Writing is not necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash
your hands afterwards.
Some days it's not even worth chewing threw the straight jacket.
Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start
Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American newspaper is like trying
to play Bach's 'St. Matthew's Passion' on a ukelele.
USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people
make up 75% of the population.
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England
'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
A room without books is like a body without a soul.
Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I want to
see the manager."
I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say
in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it.
What a splendid head, yet no brain. - Aesop
Always forgive your enimes... they hate it!
Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.
Speech is conveniently located midway between thought and action, where it often
substitutes for both.
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you
stand up to speak in public.
Sometimes I wish I was a little kid again....skinned knees are easier to fix than
The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity. - Dorothy
Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely
to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons.
To the world
your just one person but to one person you could mean the world.
I ran up the door, closed the stairs, said my pajamas, and put on my prayers. Turned
off the bed, and hopped into the light, all because you kissed me good night.
If you really love something, set it
free. If it comes back it's yours. If it doesn't it was never ment to be.
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than a
Some day you'll cry for me like I cried for you,
Some day you'll miss me like I missed you,
day you'll need me like I needed you,
Some day you'll love me, but I won't love you!
A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey!
Everyones entitled to be stupid but some people are abusing the priviledge.
there's someone who dreams of your smile,
and finds in your presence that life is worth while,
so when you are lonely,
remember it's true:
somebody, somewhere is thinking of you
When you are seventeen you aren't really serious.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you.
I invented the internet. --Al Gore, former U.S. Vice President
It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago --Dan Quayle, former U.S.
It's time for the human race to enter the solar system! --Dan Quayle, former
U.S. Vice President on the concept of a manned mission to Mars
I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix.
--Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
Can you get a ticket for running a stop sign that is not there? --Driver school applicant
I have opinions of my own --strong opinions-- but I don't always agree with them.
--George Bush, former U.S. President
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight. --George
Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer,
boxer shorts, and batteries for the remote control.. --Diana Jordan.
Afterism (n) - A concise, clever statement you don't think of until it's too late.